Bon nuit!!!! I have caught a temporary fever for blogging and while it last I hope to exploit it in my advantage. We have seemed to have stumbled upon a theme here — male relationships from my past. I wanted to share a very short experience that wasn’t necessary bad, but one I’ll never forget in how I reacted. I attended USF back in 2013 and I liked doing some studying in the third floor of the student building( I can’t even remember what’s called anymore, but basically where they have the big WOW welcoming event).
I liked studying there because it was usually less crowded than the library and I could concentrate on whatever I was working on. One day in between my classes, I sat there quietly when a Caucasian guy walked up to me and sat down at the table. He obviously asked politely if I had some time to talk and I agreed. I unfortunately don’t remember his name at all and even if I did you guys know I couldn’t disclose it. My first reaction was a bit startled because no one ever approached me at all— let alone a guy. I think he was carrying a motorcycle helmet and he was a bit older than me at that time but still within youth range. He had some nice bright colored eyes and he was actually just going around sharing the gospel.
He asked me about my faith and I reassured him I was a believer in Christ. We exchanged a few words and shared some music preferences. After that he actually asked me if he could pray for me before he left and I said yes. He grabbed my hand and said a quick prayer. Up until that point I don’t think anyone my age had every prayer for me like that and it was so surprising to me. Of course in my cynical mind, I was like doing the female scanning for potential mate probability. I was observing him and trying to figure out if he could be someone I’d want to date. It was just so terrible of me processing all of that while he was actually doing the right thing to fellowship.
I went off to class and didn’t think I’d see him again any time soon. A few days after, I had actually signed up to volunteer for this event inside the same building we met. I saw him sitting my the lounge chairs and I approached him just to give him a flyer about the event. I didn’t say much and again went off on my own way. I hate this next part of the story. I was in a bit of a rush to get to class one morning because I didn’t have too much time to spare. I completely missed out on the chance to perhaps make a good friend and even accrue a brother in Christ. I say that because on my way to class I was walking fast when he was walking towards me and he stopped to say hi. I hesitantly replied back with hi and kept walking, he had actually asked me how are you and I said quickly I’m good but kept walking away.
Afterwards, I felt so bad I had just kept walking away from him and he looked like he just wanted to chat a little bit, and I totally blew him off. I regret that moment so much, because I was so rude to just leave him hanging like that. I’m not a rude person, but all I was focused on was getting to class on time. I also, just didn’t know what to say to him and felt like maybe he was just being too nice. I felt like oh no here we go again he is feeling sorry for me and is giving me that big smile out of pity.
I remember he was wearing this bright baby blue T-shirt and he looked really nice in it. I wish I could apologize to him for that moment and explain I didn’t mean to be so cold in that moment. I don’t know if he even remembers me, but I’m sure he is most likely married by now with a beautiful wife and kids. I wasn’t attracted to him physically when I first met him, but I’ve learned sometimes it literally takes some time to unveil someone’s attractiveness. Above all I just feel horrible for treating him that way, after he had been so polite and caring towards me.
These are the few things I remember about him and I just shake my head for judging him so harshly for no reason. He mentioned he had been in a car accident or motorcycle accident and he had broken his neck. I thought oh no he is already damaged inside, as if I were in perfect condition ( I know I was so immature back then it’s a true shame to recall my erroneous way of thinking). He also criticized a song I shared with him that first day and when he shared a song he liked I was like okay that’s so old church people style music. I completely wrote him off for the silliest of things — all because I was focusing on a compatibility match instead of approaching it as a new friend.
I’ve definitely grown since then in terms of not judging people so harshly for our differences. However, when it comes to fellowship and accepting a lifetime partner: I’m not going to settle just for anything or anyone who doesn’t share the core values and beliefs. I know we are all unique and we all are entitled to share our opinions, but the core foundation is non negotiable when it comes to lifestyle. I hope you don’t run off someone who approaches you in a nice manner. Even if you’re in a hurry take the time to be kind to everyone and don’t miss out on the opportunity to meet amazing people.
We need more youth like him who are willing to approach strangers and share the gospel and pray for them with such warmth. Remember to keep pushing forward in life when times get rough and you feel like you’re not good enough— because you are valuable in God’s sight. You’re not a mistake because God does not make mistakes. We need you to fulfill your purpose and share all that God has placed inside of you to help others. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. As always like, share, and subscribe!!!! Comments are always welcomed and appreciated too!!!
Love,
Xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo,
Ana :)
No comments:
Post a Comment