Man of my Dreams #amilikey

 Heeeeyyy it’s your favorite blogger !!!! I want to post another blog that will bring some enlightenment into my persona, personality, and me. Who doesn’t have any preferences (raise your hand)? Everyone has a preference of the things they like and don’t like. If we didn’t have any preference it’s like we didn’t have feelings. Some people have less preferences than others and that’s okay too. Right now, I want to talk about the preferences I have in regards to my ideal mate. 

First of all, I do believe being attracted to your partner is essential for obvious reasons. When you’re attracted to your partner physically then you don’t have the excuse of saying well I’m just not that into them so I ended up cheating on them. When you have that physical chemistry between the both of you, it makes the connection tight and allows you to become a loyal partner. I know, I know, who am I to talk about relationships when I’ve never had a serious relationship? Well, I still know now what didn’t work and what lacked in every toxic relationship I was envolved in. I get credit for understanding the basics when it comes to making a perfect match. No one is perfect, however, I now know as long as your partner views you as perfect for them that’s all that matters. 

I want to be attracted to my dream man both physically and mentally. I want to know he is the hottest man alive just for me and no one else can have a taste of him ever. I want to always be excited about going home after work and spending that intimate, good, quality time with him as my husband. So I believe I can’t force myself to like him and be like well he has one or two good looking features physically. I want to enjoy what he looks like as a whole (even if all his features aren’t perfect). Now the features I admire in a man are: 

1. Height (short men just don’t make me feel like I’m with a real man but a boy) I want my man to pick me up and carry me to the bedroom on our honeymoon— Yes! But I also want him to reach things for me I can’t reach and just be the strong male I need in my life to help me physically when I can’t do something. My ideal height is between minimum 5’10” to tops 6’1”. 

2. Light colored eyes like blue or green 😍 or gray or hazel or those amazing mixtures of more than one color but still gorgeous. Brown eyes are boring because everyone has them. 

3. Curly hair— I love love love curly hair and I’d like to have babies with curly hair. 

4. Light skin all the way. I am not racist obviously 🙄 but that is what really makes my motors run, when I see a white male or a light skin male of any ethnicity. I don’t care if they were born in Antártica (now I wonder if anyone has ever been born there) or Fiji I just want them to be of light complexion because that is what I am attracted to more than anything. 

5. Dirty blonde hair color!!! Naturally any hair color other than black, because again everyone has black hair color and that’s also boring. 

6. Fit body, muscular with some nice abs!!! Not like bodybuilding— eww 😷 that’s gross looking. I want naturally fit with normal exercise regimen, but not too much where you look like a mini hulk. 

7. Big lips are a bonus because when you kiss someone with thin lips it’s just not the same and y’all know what am talking about. 

8. Healthy smile 

9. Cute button nose or medium nose —- I do not like pointy big nose 

10. If he has a nice junk in the trunk I don’t mind at all but it’s not essential. 

So those are my top feature preferences that makes me be attracted physically to a man. Also, if he can sing or has a skill like playing basketball or playing an instrument like the piano that’s also super attractive. Now mentally, you have to stimulate my mind or else you’re only half way to my aorta. You can be fine as wine, but if you can’t hold a conversation about something other than pop culture — you are history. Obviously I’m not a genius or have a high IQ. Yet, I still want to discuss politics, nature, human interaction, and topics that are interesting and you can have an in depth conversation. I want you to make me laugh because you’re genuinely funny and not because you’re telling dad jokes or making stupid imitating sounds. I want my man to like to be a talker because I can talk all day long. I don’t want you to just sit there and listen to me and not equally partake in the conversation. 

I need a man who can be spontaneous about the ordinary things in life like remembering to buy me my favorite dark chocolate boujee chocolate when I’m with Mother Nature. Don’t ask me if I want some or if I need some dark chocolate just give it to me and do it in a creative way. Like I sometimes to be playful put something underneath my mom’s pillow before she goes to bed and the next day she just starts laughing I did that. There are so many ways to express love it’s ridiculous how many people go through life in a boring marriage or relationship. I need my man to be fun, outgoing, kind, have real empathy for all people. 

I need a man who can be playful (and not just sexually) without being offensive or demeaning. I want you to roast me in a loving and caring kind of way. Just know where to stop and not take it overboard. Like for example, I know I’m short so go ahead make short girl jokes, but don’t say where my height makes me inadequate to do things right. Just the know the difference between being playful and being a jerk. This one fool had the audacity to criticize me for my teeth, but he was a smoker. Like those types of things you don’t bring about so brutally. And I will get my teeth whitening soon FYI fool. 

I also know given my own physical appearance I can’t bank on getting someone that fits all my preferences, because it wouldn’t be fair to him to be that amazing and end up with just me. I know men want a tall woman, with long legs, big bootie, big breast, big lips, big hips, thin waist, and I don’t have those features in that size. So as long as I can be more than 80% attracted to his features then I’m good. If he can have at least 5 of the 10 features I am into then we are good. Once we pass the physical attraction and you stimulate my mind when we talk, baby we are set for life. 

Obviously, I don’t mean that those are the only aspects in a man I want either. Before I even get to the physical and mental attraction— you have to be faith bound or you’re not in my radar. I need man who can pray for me and with me all the time. I need a man who is going to be my accountability partner in the spiritual realm. If he sees me not pursuing Jesus as I should I need him to call me out on it and help me get back on track. I want him to trust me and see me 2nd to Jesus in his life. I do come before his momma and his family. I am his 2nd priority after God. I need a man who is genuinely faithful to serving the Lord and doesn’t take Christianity as a spectator. I know I haven’t done nearly enough in the Kingdom of God, but I am aware I can do more and I will do more. I also need a man who has his finances in balance. Not a billionaire, millionaire, or rich man, but a man who can afford to sustain himself and a family. I need a man who will read my marriage proposal blog post and agree to more than 90% of it ( really it should be 100% because everything I said was true but I’ll give a slight micro waver on something). 

I want and need a man who agrees to having four beautiful babies with me and that includes adopting one of those four. I need a man who shares the same views about parenting as I want to parent. I don’t believe in timeouts to sit in a corner and face the wall. I believe in real hard age appropriate labor to teach them discipline. You misbehaved as a five year old, you will help me do the laundry from start to finish and I don’t care if don’t know how to fold because you’re about to learn. You misbehaved as a twelve year old, you will help me do all the house cleaning and we are doing deep cleaning so get ready to move some furniture too. I want to raise kids who appreciate what they have and can be independent from an early age. I don’t want them to not know how to cook their own meals or be self sufficient. My mommy spoiled me too much as a kid and had I had more discipline and instruction I’d probably would have done better in my early 20s. Loving your kids is not about giving them everything you didn’t have or wanted, but about helping them become well-rounded individuals with integrity. 

I share the things that matter the most to me in a man. I hope you found my preferences somewhat enjoyable and delightful. Like I said before, I won’t get someone with all 10 features because that would be too good to be true and a total unfairness for him. But I do hope more than anything when he finally shows up in my life he will embrace this blog and be my number one follower!!! I hope he can see and understand I share these stories not for the fame but for a real reason to shed some encouragement to those in need. To remind people they are not a mistake, because God does not make mistakes. To motivate them to seek Jesus and find their purpose for life. 

Again, thank you for taking the time to read my blog and if you know someone that fits the mold send them this link. Major Lol. It won’t hurt to share in general too!!! 

Love,

Xoxoxoxooxoxoxo, 

Ana ;) 

Sixth Grade Crush Obsession #amilikey

Hola beautiful people!! I am definitely getting some boost when I see the views increase continuously. I think I might have hit a good nerve with the general audience, because inside relationship news is very interesting to learn about. People want the scoop of how people socialize and the ins and outs of the relationship. Obviously, that is how reality TV became a world-wide sensation and the non-talented Kardashians became famous for doing nothing. I share my inside stories to entertain --yes, but also bring about a life lesson and encouragement. If you had to say you actually learned valuable lessons from the Kardashians versus me, who would you honestly select? Me!! It better be me or get off my page right now. Major Lol. I was just kidding of course, but seriously other than a new form of shopping or a new way to start drama, what can you accredit the Kardashians with that is important? 

    Okay, let me take you back to my middle school first year as a sixth grader. I was totally new to the school as all my fellow fifth grade classmates ended attending a different school than the one I was district-bound to enroll with. In the beginning, I was a bit nervous so I stayed as low-key as possible. Perhaps after the first quarter of the year, I had developed a major crush on this one Caucasian boy who liked hockey and was in my elective class. He was very smart and obviously good-looking with the pretty boy face. I didn't want to tell anyone I had a crush on him, but other girls couldn't resist knowing that info about me. I told someone who was actually really good friends with him and was his neighbor from childhood. She actually printed a picture of him so I could put it in my locker, and I was crazy enough to hang up inside my locker.

    I only kept it up for a few days until it became an awkward reminder of how much I was crushing on him. She also gave me his home phone number because at this point children didn't have cell-phones yet. I specifically told her not to tell him I liked him. Somehow school gossip got to another classmate that ended up making up this stupid story about the possibility of him even considering me as a girlfriend. I totally feel for it and wanted to know if it was true or not. I went home that day and when there was no one in the living room grabbed the landline to call his home phone. I was so nervous, but ironically he picked up the phone and I said hey it's me and I just wanted to ask you a question about what someone told me you said. Of course he completely denied ever suggesting he would ask me out and I was like oh okay and then the most embarrassing thing happened. I still can't believe to this day I blurted that out like that, because obviously I didn't mean it at all. I literally said, "I love you" and hanged up the phone. It was so stupid and ridiculous and I dreaded going to school the next day. I don't remember if that sparked my next stupid move to write him an explanation letter. My classmate that knew him gave him the letter I wrote and he didn't say much after reading it. 

    He avoided me so hard after that phone call and letter it was so uncomfortable to be around him in that one class. I guess he pretty much felt like -- damn the ugly girl likes me and she is so annoying. I knew afterwards we would never speak again even as classmates. It was sad to loose that little small interaction I previously had before he knew I liked him. We thankfully went to separate high schools, so that awkward tension that remained didn't matter anymore. Ironically, years later maybe a year or two after high school, I had the audacity to friend request him on Facebook since we had so many friends in common. He actually accepted my request and we just kept to ourselves in terms of no actual interaction like messaging. One day I mentioned it was so much easier to take pictures than upload them onto my page, and he actually liked my status post and agreed. That was literally the only interaction we had via Facebook. I obviously browsed all his page and discovered where he got his good looks from -- his dad for sure. That man was in such great shape I was like wow that is his father ... nice! Major Lol. 

    Eventually a couple more years later on, when people do their Facebook cleaning I didn't make the cut or maybe I unfriend him I honestly don't know how it happened, but he is no longer on my page. So yeah, that was my crazy sixth grade crush story of how I totally overreacted/embarrassed myself. I wrote a lot of guys letters and it was always so stupid of me. Even as a grown adult, I wrote guys letters as if that made a difference for them. The foolish things I've done to get a guy's attention is just so sad for sure. I will save my writing skills for my blog instead. So there you have it, another heart-felt short story to spice it up, up in here y'all. Do not forget that you are not a mistake because God Almighty does not make mistakes. No matter how you feel about your life going well or in the slums: you have a purpose to keep living. Never give up on having a better future and allow the Lord to be a part of it all. Thank you for reading my blog. Make sure to (all in unison) : share, like, comment!!!

Love, 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo, 

Ana :) 

    

    

College Prayer Guy #Amilikey

 Bon nuit!!!! I have caught a temporary fever for blogging and while it last I hope to exploit it in my advantage. We have seemed to have stumbled upon a theme here — male relationships from my past. I wanted to share a very short experience that wasn’t necessary bad, but one I’ll never forget in how I reacted. I attended USF back in 2013 and I liked doing some studying in the third floor of the student building( I can’t even remember what’s called anymore, but basically where they have the big WOW welcoming event). 

I liked studying there because it was usually less crowded than the library and I could concentrate on whatever I was working on. One day in between my classes, I sat there quietly when a Caucasian guy walked up to me and sat down at the table. He obviously asked politely if I had some time to talk and I agreed. I unfortunately don’t remember his name at all and even if I did you guys know I couldn’t disclose it. My first reaction was a bit startled because no one ever approached me at all— let alone a guy. I think he was carrying a motorcycle helmet and he was a bit older than me at that time but still within youth range. He had some nice bright colored eyes and he was actually just going around sharing the gospel. 

He asked me about my faith and I reassured him I was a believer in Christ. We exchanged a few words and shared some music preferences. After that he actually asked me if he could pray for me before he left and I said yes. He grabbed my hand and said a quick prayer. Up until that point I don’t think anyone my age had every prayer for me like that and it was so surprising to me. Of course in my cynical mind, I was like doing the female scanning for potential mate probability. I was observing him and trying to figure out if he could be someone I’d want to date. It was just so terrible of me processing all of that while he was actually doing the right thing to fellowship. 

I went off to class and didn’t think I’d see him again any time soon. A few days after, I had actually signed up to volunteer for this event inside the same building we met. I saw him sitting my the lounge chairs and I approached him just to give him a flyer about the event. I didn’t say much and again went off on my own way. I hate this next part of the story. I was in a bit of a rush to get to class one morning because I didn’t have too much time to spare. I completely missed out on the chance to perhaps make a good friend and even accrue a brother in Christ. I say that because on my way to class I was walking fast when he was walking towards me and he stopped to say hi. I hesitantly replied back with hi and kept walking, he had actually asked me how are you and I said quickly I’m good but kept walking away. 

Afterwards, I felt so bad I had just kept walking away from him and he looked like he just wanted to chat a little bit, and I totally blew him off. I regret that moment so much, because I was so rude to just leave him hanging like that. I’m not a rude person, but all I was focused on was getting to class on time. I also, just didn’t know what to say to him and felt like maybe he was just being too nice. I felt like oh no here we go again he is feeling sorry for me and is giving me that big smile out of pity. 

I remember he was wearing this bright baby blue T-shirt and he looked really nice in it. I wish I could apologize to him for that moment and explain I didn’t mean to be so cold in that moment. I don’t know if he even remembers me, but I’m sure he is most likely married by now with a beautiful wife and kids. I wasn’t attracted to him physically when I first met him, but I’ve learned sometimes it literally takes some time to unveil someone’s attractiveness. Above all I just feel horrible for treating him that way, after he had been so polite and caring towards me. 

These are the few things I remember about him and I just shake my head for judging him so harshly for no reason. He mentioned he had been in a car accident or motorcycle accident and he had broken his neck. I thought oh no he is already damaged inside, as if I were in perfect condition ( I know I was so immature back then it’s a true shame to recall my erroneous way of thinking). He also criticized a song I shared with him that first day and when he shared a song he liked I was like okay that’s so old church people style music. I completely wrote him off for the silliest of things — all because I was focusing on a compatibility match instead of approaching it as a new friend. 

I’ve definitely grown since then in terms of not judging people so harshly for our differences. However, when it comes to fellowship and accepting a lifetime partner: I’m not going to settle just for anything or anyone who doesn’t share the core values and beliefs. I know we are all unique and we all are entitled to share our opinions, but the core foundation is non negotiable when it comes to lifestyle. I hope you don’t run off someone who approaches you in a nice manner. Even if you’re in a hurry take the time to be kind to everyone and don’t miss out on the opportunity to meet amazing people. 

We need more youth like him who are willing to approach strangers and share the gospel and pray for them with such warmth. Remember to keep pushing forward in life when times get rough and you feel like you’re not good enough— because you are valuable in God’s sight. You’re not a mistake because God does not make mistakes. We need you to fulfill your purpose and share all that God has placed inside of you to help others. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. As always like, share, and subscribe!!!! Comments are always welcomed and appreciated too!!! 

Love, 

Xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo, 

Ana :) 

Winter Fling #Amilikey

Good Morning!!! To the western hemisphere that is of course. Major Lol. I was feeling cheery and decided to give you guys a bonus blog post. Also, I felt motivated to post again, because according to my google stat there seems to have been an increase in views. I don't understand where they all came from since I hadn't posted until about two hours ago, but I will try to seize the momentum. And in full disclosure considering the last topic I blogged about, I thought this one would be it's perfect cup of tea!!! Major Lol the irony right !!!! Okay, Ana focus please so we don't get discredited. Sike ...pfffff... 

    Seriously, back on track for this new post I am about to spill out all the most possible beans on it. One honest disclaimer before anyone starts accusing me of not having closure: I am over him. I once again, in my naive and hopeless aspiration to find love or a genuine friend: decided to meet up with a online faith-based friend. I utilize Facebook groups to mainly share my blog and I had joined one group named something like single christians. One day I posted my link to my YouTube video about making cupcakes and this one member replied commenting something about it. In order to comply with not being sued for release of personal information we shall name him Little Stuartie = LS (I was going for Little Stuart but I also don't want cinema production to sue me either). So LS and I began messaging back and forth and we ended up chatting on Facebook messenger. Gradually our conversations progressed to text messages and even phone calls, but I can't recall if we spoke on the phone prior to meeting in person. 

    LS had mentioned he really enjoyed going to museums because he was a history buff so I had been wanting to go to the Tampa History Museum for a while and it seemed like the perfect place to meet a stranger/friend. We decided to meet two days after Thanksgiving on a Saturday mid-day. As per usual, I arrived early to wait for him by the entrance with a card I had bought him (I know totally over the top stupid gesture of mine). I wrote like just nice things about him and I honestly don't know why I did it. I guess I've always been a writer and I love giving people cards, letters, and expressing how I feel on paper or in writing. We greeted each other and paid for our admission tickets individually of course. It was a bit awkward at first not knowing how to behave around each other for the first few minutes. Naturally, as the day continued we got more and more comfortable with each other to where we could laugh and horse play around with each other. 

    At our early dinner, we were definitely joking non-stop and being a bit more flirtatious. I figured the meeting would be over after we ate, but he didn't want to leave and we decided to walk down the River Walk because it was starting to be sunset. LS and I did hold hands or I grabbed him by the arm something like that as we walked and talked to the end of the River Walk that led to the Curtis Hixon Park. Obviously, it was a crowded place with the Xmas lights and ice-skating and holiday atmosphere. They were actually prepping to show some Xmas movie by the lawn and LS had said he wanted to stay and watch it. I agreed and I sat down in front of him to keep warm because it was beginning to cool down rapidly. I even lend him my spare hoodie because he was shivering by this point. Eventually, it was just too cold for our clothing and we decided it was time to leave. This is the part where he found out about me not driving so he obviously offered to drive me back home. He lived a bit further than I did, but I figured it couldn't hurt spending a little more time together. Kids if you are reading this, please get off my page and go do your homework because I have some things I need to share not for your ears or eyes. Major Lol. Kidding, you need to sit down and pay closer attention and learn from my mistakes. 

    So as you all know a date that goes well ends in a kiss. We both had agreed we were just meeting up to explore the museum together as friends, but once we starting flirting it was inevitable the meeting turned into a date. Before I exited his car, we did exchange a few xoxo and just cuddled. In that moment, I asked him (because I have been traumatized from past experiences) paraphrasing " Do you really like me and is this special?" I just wanted to know why he wanted to spend so much time with me and why he felt so attracted to me so soon. Of course, he said it was special and he did really like me, because we were in the moment of kissing. I don't think you'd say otherwise and continue getting kisses. Again, these are the stupid questions I asked when the situation wouldn't have led me to any other answer. 

    LS and me kept in touch via text and phone calls during the week and mostly meet up to see each other on the weekends. During our 5 weeks of seeing each other, we went to a movie, dinner, grocery stores, and flea market. It wasn't in that order but those were our little get together outings. After the third outing, we began having serious conversations about our differences in what we wanted and expected in our interaction. He wanted to go in one direction and I wanted to go in the opposite direction. I kept telling him I didn't want to mess up again and he just said yeah I get it but wouldn't uphold that promise to help me. After New year's day, I couldn't help but feel somewhat left out of his social gatherings and his large network of friends. 

    He began to distance himself and started to complain about having to drive all the way to see me and having to drop me back off in order to spend some time with me. I immediately felt offended that he would make that into an excuse not to come see me and make me feel so belittled. LS knew from the start where I lived and I never hid my situation from not driving from him. In fact, I am sure I mentioned it before we actually met but he didn't pay attention. One argument after another just continue to set us apart and I realized it wasn't meant to be. We couldn't stay friends even if we tried because that friend zone had already been broken. In all honesty, we did try for a while to be friends, but as soon as he mentioned seeing other people I couldn't help but feel like I wasn't good enough for him and he didn't try to make it work. I also felt so betrayed after all the things he had once told me to just blame my situation for not wanting to see me. 

    It hurt really badly to know he never actually meant any of those things he told me. When you care for someone -- it doesn't matter how hard it is to see them you do whatever it takes to see them. He could have been that aid that propelled me to fix my situation, but of course why would anyone care to lend me a hand and help me make progress. When I mention aid, I am not referring to money at all, because I was making a good salary when I met him and it was a skill assistance in teaching (that is what I could have benefited from). Nevertheless, I went back and forth with him via Facebook messenger until maybe five months ago when we last messaged each other. I specifically told him I was done keeping in touch with him, because there was no point. LS always denies doing any wrong to me and won't accept the fact that he lied to me about how he really felt about me and towards me. I told him I did forgive him, but I just wanted to move forward without him in my life. 

    I admit I did unblock him to snoop around his page to see what he was up to and to see if he was dating anyone. I should have left him blocked the whole time, but I caved into my curiosity. The point is that I haven't seen him since that winter month back in 2021 and I won't see him anytime soon either-- perks of meeting people who don't live where you live. I will always pray for him and wish him nothing but the best. I hold no hate or grudge in my heart for what happened, but there is a definite disillusion for how things ended. So as much as I tried to make a new friend and keep it amicable: I failed miserably and tried to make something out of nothing. He was not my type from the beginning, and yet there were qualities in him that made me like him to a certain degree-- I wasn't madly in love or close to it at all. That is why I reference him as my winter fling. It came and it passed all in a blink of an eye. He brought temporary warmth only to leave me with a cold sweet bitter memory. 

    So there you have it, my epic relationship failures for you to learn from. I saw minor red flags from the start, yet I thought I don't have to be so vigorous about it since we are only on the purpose of being friends. You shouldn't lower your expectations for a life partner and you should not lower them for a friend either. Remember God has a beautiful plan for your life and you are not a mistake. Have a blessed day or night wherever you are and keep moving forward with a heartbreak or not. Thanks for reading my blog, for more content just scroll on to the next post. Like, Share, Comment, Subscribe!!!!

Love, 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo , 

Ana :)  

        

 

My Coffee Date #amilikey

 

Hello, hello, my beautiful people that I always look forward to blogging for and to. I again failed the deadline for a Saturday post, so at this point I am just going to commit to one post per week regardless of the actual day. Now, I wanted to make a very personal/fun post about something I experienced. Ana, when haven't your blogs been personal or fun? Never, they are always fun and personal, but on this occasion I think it will make a connection with even more people. Let me begin, shall we? YES!!!

    All my life, I have genuinely struggled with the notion of being wanted and considered as a real partner in a committed relationship. If you read prior blogs you'll find out I have tried online dating (lots of it --unfortunately), peer group interactions, and just being out in public to be seen by available single men. However, has any of that resulted in a healthy relationship? NO, the answer is always no. So over a year ago, I was on this chatting app and I posted, "Who wants to go on a coffee date?" as a general post. Ironically, this one guy replied back which I had previously chatted with before months earlier. Of course, I still had some curiosity to meet him in person -- even though I wasn't romantically interested in him-- and see if we could at least be good friends. Other guys also replied, but I ended up just picking this one for the coffee date. 

    We decided to meet at a Starbucks closer to his side of town and I arrived early as usual-- I am always early for almost everything. I went ahead and placed my order because there were a lot of people. It was a sunny, hot, Saturday morning and I just wore a bright mustard tank top with a pair of jeans or sweat pants -- I can't remember exactly. He came in with some slides and dark colored plain t-shirt with some pants. My first impression was-- wow he is so skinny. As you all know, a person always looks different in person versus a really nice photo. He definitely looked the same face wise, but his physique was a bit more pronounced in person. We were timid at first and just said a cold hi and focused on getting in our orders-- as it was a busy morning at Starbucks. 

    When we finally got our orders right, we moved further away from the crowded area and sat down somewhere else to get a little more privacy. I was hungry so I actually had ordered a egg sandwich with my coffee. He only ordered a cold coffee. Our conversation was never that interesting and it was mainly just plain jane and joe dialogue. The topics we briefly discussed were like generic and political. We never made it to fun topics and even though it wasn't suppose to be a romantic date -- I still wanted to laugh and have a good time. As soon as I finished my sandwich, he wrapped up the meeting and grabbed a $20 dollar bill from his wallet and was getting ready to hand it over to me. He said, "Here is a 20 for some gas for your drive over here" and I replied, "I don't need gas money because I didn't drive over here." In that instant he looked puzzled and asked," So how did you get here?" and I replied, "I took the bus here." 

    Then he obviously felt bad about it and suggested he would take me to the bus stop, so I said just drop me off near the park because I wasn't going home yet. On the short ride to the park in his car, he had the audacity to still make me feel bad about my personal situation and offered me money for a bus fare. I obviously declined because I had a bus card pass with preloaded funds. I felt so humiliated yet again to be reminded that I wasn't on his level and somehow I screamed poor girl in his sight. I sat down near a park bench to just regret the whole experience. I know it is awkward to find out someone of my age doesn't drive yet, but he didn't have to offer me money to compensate me coming to see him for some damn coffee. I was the one who came up with the concept and asked if anyone wanted to join me for some coffee. I didn't need anyone paying me to comply with the coffee date. 

    I may not have enough to afford a car, but in that moment I sure had enough for my coffee and personal transportation. It was such an insult, as if he was paying me off for having showed up. I never relayed how awful he made me feel and I pretended like everything was fine. I texted him a few more times that day and the next day he stopped replying back to me. I tried texting him as a friendly "hey how are you?" kind of thing, but he kept disregarding my texts. At that point, I was like wow, what a jerk face for not answering me at all. I get you might not be into someone --not even as friends-- but the decent thing to do is be honest and say I don't want to talk to you anymore. So about six months ago, he had the audacity to text me out of the blue as if he hadn't been ignoring me for the past 6 months. I was so livid, I texted him back telling him how dare he text me after all this time as if nothing. I told him to never text me again or look for me -- something like that-- and then I finally blocked him and deleted his number. 

    I just felt like a complete fool to think something good could come out of a coffee date. I called it a coffee date because it sounds nice, but honestly it didn't have to be a romantic encounter. I was just looking to share my coffee day which is usually on Saturdays with someone to accompany me that day and have someone to talk to in person. I wanted that human interaction on a friendly level. I work and interact with family, but it just isn't the same. Sometimes you crave and want that adulting with someone you can talk to freely without worrying they'll either report you to HR or snitch to your auntie. Overall, I know that day he meant well by offering me the money, but the fact of the matter is that he did forget about me and I do not appreciate being ignored for months on end. I understand we all have our obligations and responsibilities, but taking literally five to ten minutes to text someone is not unreasonable to uphold on a weekly basis at the minimum. 

    My social life has never been what I would hope or expect, but it would be nice to have a real friend I could hangout with and spend time with doing outdoor activities and just being social-- excluding the booze and clubs. It always comes down to the social status, and your lack of things to share in common with like being married with kids. The irony of being a social butterfly and yet not having any friends is just gut sucking. All I have is a bunch of acquaintances I see here and there for mere hellos and goodbyes. Everyone I ever met, lied about wanting to help me better myself and make progress. Again, I know it is my duty to figure things out and take ownership of the mistakes I've made to hinder my progress, but if any of those people would have actually kept their promise I'd be ahead of my own progress without so much hassle. 

    Anyways, now you know how my coffee date went down. I don't think I'll be going on any more coffee dates ever again. I'll just brew my coffee at home and if I'm feeling like pampering myself I'll get some Starbucks by myself like usual. As always the main theme of my sharing is to motivate and uplift you in whatever trial or situation you may be facing. You are not your parents' mistake because God does not make mistakes and you are His creation. Believe in Jesus and He will turn your life around once and for all. Even if it takes time --which I am the perfect example of how long it takes sometimes-- the Lord will Bless you and use you for greater good. 

    Thank you for reading my blog and remember to share, like, subscribe, and leave a feedback comment. 

Love,

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo, 

Ana :) 

Bonus pic not from that day but of me with some Starbucks coffee!!! 

Fiction versus Non-Fiction #amilikey

 

Buenas Tardes mi gente!! That is usually what I would say in Spanish because I can and I want to, too!! I am coming here in the promise I made to myself to keep up with my blog posting and to post one blog per week. Tomorrow is the deadline, so I am being proactive and posting it today and also because I have a 12 hour shift scheduled for tomorrow and I do not want to forget to post. I always struggle a little bit to come up with a topic that is effective and meaningful to talk about without oversharing (which I know is one of my intuition to always do about my personal life). 

    On today's theme I will enlightened you about which genre is best and why I recommend spending your time with non-fiction reading versus fiction. I believe fiction is a total waste of time because you are not learning absolutely nothing from this fiction novel/book. I think if you are going to waste some time like we all like to do with screen time viewing, it should be with fiction because it is highly entertaining to watch fiction versus just reading it. Fiction is all about creating a lie-- nothing presented in the literature is real and therefore a made up lie of its' entire content. I enjoy watching Marvel, Disney, DreamWorks, Fox Century films, but it is appealing to see the action performed by the superheroes and actors fighting to save the world than just trying to imagine it in your mind. People have these cool book clubs (which I also low-key always wanted to be a part of one) that are mainly based off of fiction books and I wish they would invest their time reading non-fiction instead. 

    When you read non-fiction you can rely on the authenticity of the book, because it is classified as being real hence the non-fiction label. You always learn something new -- even if it is about the hardships of someone's autobiography/biography. If you pay close attention to the narrative being presented to you, it may also bring you about a worthy life lesson that you can keep in mind. If someone else shares their life stories about how they were able to overcome poverty or anxiety over a long period of time: that then becomes a solid piece of learning tool for your personal use. How someone became a successful entrepreneur might just spark something in you that will create a new sense of motivation and inspiration. There are so many good things you can acquire from reading non-fiction that it is never a waste of time to read non-fiction content. It is precisely the reason as to why I stay put to reading only non-fiction. 

    For example, the most recent book I read was Diary of a Survivor: Nineteen Years in a Cuban Women's Prison by Ana Rodriguez and Glenn Garvin. I was once again so appreciative of my freedom and the liberty to access everyday necessities without strictions or violence. Everyday we forget the blessing that it is to be free of incarceration of any kind whether self-inflicted or wrongly condemned. We live our lives too entitled to being free we could never fathom the notion of losing that right and privilege as normal citizens. This very book enhances that empathy you feel when you learn of the horrors these women were subjected to every day for years on end without any justification. I was gripped with every turning page to learn more and more about harsh and severe the conditions of the prisons were without hope to change. I can't imagine having to suffer any of those inhumane conditions for a second let alone years. Ana's survival story is truly compelling but heart-warming also to know the will of someone trying to survive against all odds and being able to live a life after incarceration. 

    Most of the non-fiction books I've had the privilege of reading have been biographies and they are absolutely my favorite because it always widens my scope of how people have lived their lives. I always take away from each of them a new sense of appreciation for not enduring such struggles but also appreciation for what I have been blessed with in my life like knowing my parents and family. It also teaches me that in certain circumstances it is best to imitate their actions if I want to obtain the outcome they too experienced. For instance, in the case of dealing with corrupt people: it is best to steer away from them as much as possible even if it hinders your current situation because in the long run it will prove to be the better option. Biting down your tongue versus blurting out your opinion isn't always easy, but it is better to be silent then to give your opponent access to aim back with something you disclosed out of emotions. 

    I hope the next book you select is non-fiction, and that you really get something positive out of it. Knowledge is power and you can gain more knowledge by being selective of the material you read. Academic books are non-fiction for the most part and I wish I could have felt less hesitant to read back in my grade school years. Reading comprehension was not my strength because I always felt rushed and pressured to understand the authors purpose, theme, conclusions to its' reading material. I hated my reading class because it made it all about having to infer the answers based on the story. I just wanted to answer questions to the facts about the story and not, "What would make a good title for this passage and why?" it was these questions I thought could not have a one correct answer alone. Now, I enjoy reading non-fiction because I know it is real and I can gain something out of it for my well-being. Also, reading academic reports on studies being done to analyze a particular pattern or problem are much more fascinating then reading stupid Alas, Babylon book. 

    Okay, I hope I have motivated you to pick up a good non-fiction book or article to gain more knowledge and learn something that adds value to your life. Perhaps by starting off with reading more of my blog posts that are definitely non-fiction all the way. Thank you for reading my humble blog and remember the key theme to never forget you are not a mistake made by your parents nor by God because God does not make mistakes. You have value and a great purpose to fulfill so don't give up on life and keep striving to do better a little at a time. I care about your well-being so cheer up and remember you live to be a part of God's plan. Take courage and allow Him to be present in your life by faith. 

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo, 

Love, 

Ana :)

          

Online Streaming with ??? #amilikey

    💚💚💚💚😊😊😋😍😎💕💕💕😏😏

    Good Day!!! I want to first apologize if there was anyone out there expecting a Saturday blog post. I know I wanted to start holding myself accountable and I totally miscalculated my time and just did not make enough time to post on Saturday. So, again I failed my first due timeline, but I will bounce back and if anything post before the Saturday deadline. 

    I had a great weekend and am adjusting to my new work schedule, but I absolutely love it. It offers me such a new broaden opportunity to do more and enjoy my free time. Now to the real business of this post: what streaming services do you subscribe to and why? I always found it so strange when people would tell me that they did not have actual TV network because they had Netflix. In my mind, I thought what is Netflix and why does everyone seem to have it and rave about it over regular TV. I viewed it maybe like three or four times before I was like "wow, this is so cool and now I know why everyone has it." Prior to Netflix I knew there was cable, satellite, and on-demand recording of shows. I first signed up for Netflix about three years ago and it was very enjoyable. At that same time, I was like a little bit obsessed with streaming new movies and I also signed up for Prime Video. 

    The one downside to streaming is that there are so many options to watch a movie, short series, old reruns, and documentaries that it really takes sometimes over thirty minutes to decide what you want to watch. Also, bin-watching becomes a bit of an addiction and it's unhealthy to spend so much time streaming without doing anything else productive with your spare time. I also saw a few movies on Tubi and Roku but with the ads it wasn't as exciting to watch. For a while I had cancelled Netflix and Prime Video and switched over to Hulu but it wasn't the hype the commercial always promoted once I started watching Hulu. I canceled Hulu and went for Disney plus instead. I couldn't resist and also rejoined Netflix too. 

    I've had these streaming services for over a two years I believe and I have really enjoyed having them both as my main streaming services for entertainment. Honestly, if I had more money and less bills I'd also sign up for Apple TV, HBO, Paramount, and literally most of all the streaming services just so I could have access to all of them. It would probably take me like an hour or more to decide what I would want to watch. Some of the streaming services offer a bundle to link certain streaming platforms, but I just think it's not worth it. I love being able to pause the movie and grab something to eat without missing anything or use the bathroom or take a shower and come back to it. I also love having the option to select subtitles and audios to everything that is streaming. Of course, the addition to rating the show at the end with a thumbs up, thumbs down, or love it with two thumbs up. Having the flexibility to browse and save the shows you want to watch later in your list. 

    No matter what streaming service you have today, I'd recommend to take a break from time to time from just streaming versus getting out of the house. I know there are a lot of cool new movies and shows that are released constantly, but some fresh air is also necessary. If you happen to want to add a subscription to your list: I would suggest my YouTube channel since it doesn't cost a penny to subscribe. Just visit YouTube and type in #amilikey and there you will find me. Again, I thank you in advance if you do subscribe, but if not then at least stop by to view at least one video. Alright, that is all the time I have for now to post about this particular topic. I hope you got some perspective on this new era of TV viewing through online streaming. 

    Do not forget the most important theme of my blogs: to motivate, inspire, and encourage you with God's purpose for your life-- as in you have one. You are not a mistake because God does not make mistakes. You have a purpose in life, so do not give up on living no matter how hard times get. Pursue God and you shall overcome any hardships sooner than later. Thank you for reading and viewing my blog!!!!

Xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo, 

Ana :)