Monday, July 30, 2018

Foster Care


   I can say that I have been adopted by the Puerto Rican culture since I was 11 years old. My foster parents were from Puerto Rico and I stayed with them for a whole year. 

    They were nice people who taught me a lot about Puerto Ricans and the foster system. There were 3 other kids staying at the same home, so we had a full-house. I was fortunate enough to be able to stay alongside my brother. There was a teenage girl who also lived there and became a sister to me. She made my stay there ten times better- although she was going through her immature and wild years she was very helpful and was a big sister to me. 

    I visited my angel aka my mommy every two weeks in the beginning and later on it was increased to once every week for 2 hours. The first few visits were monitored and slowly progressed from one hour to two hours without direct supervision. The hardest part was watching my baby brother who was only three years old start crying when the visit was over. 

    The lady taking care of us was a great cook, but she wasn't very loving and the kids called her grama. My brother had real hearing problems and it wasn't diagnosed at the time so the lady yelled at him a lot and wasn't very considerate of the situation we personally were facing. I definitely saw some discrepancies in their way of care towards the children. They used their money unwisely by saving money on the food they provided for the kids. For example, instead of buying fresh fruits and vegetables, she would buy boxes of macaroni and cheese and dry soups to make for them on a weekly basis. The kids were malnourished from their day to day meals. The food they were given were 90% all processed and in small amounts. 

    They spent about $300.00 in just meats of which the kids only got maybe a piece or two a week when they ate it daily. Also, they were both somewhat chain smokers and smoked inside and outside the house. When the summer time came she would not bathe the kids on a basis that they were already getting wet outside in the plastic kids pool she filled up every day. The kids had fun splashing but they still needed a real bath, and she skipped that daily care quite a few times. 

    Overall, it was an experience I would never want to repeat and it's sad to see people take care of kids in need only for the money. I have always wanted to adopt a child, but after that foster care living arrangement I want to adopt that much more and become a foster parent myself. 

Thank you for joining me along in this journey of life via social media. 

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Monday, July 9, 2018

Dating???



     Swipe left, swipe right, how many likes do I have? How many requests do I have? All these questions are the typical ones popping up when you're an online dating site. I started online dating when I was 24 years old, but I started chatting with strangers online when I was 19. I admit the excitement of the popularity gets to you, but in the end it leaves you brokenhearted. 

       I was on Tagged, Match.com, Tinder, MeetMe, KIK, OKCupid, Badoo, POF, and maybe a few more which I can't recall at the moment. I regret it all from start to end. All the men I spoke to via messages was just a utter disappointment. They were all there seeking only free samples and desserts. I caved in with the 1st one promising me the boyfriend experience- it ended after a month. They always lured me in with compliments and fake promises about wanting to get serious with me and discussing marriage and such. I was so naive and stupid, looking back on it I wish I could have slapped myself in the face and said, " what in the hell are you thinking." 

        I sexted them all with dirty conversations that I am now ashamed of and realize it only provoked them more to treat me as a slut. I was so desperate to feel love by a man and to be loved that I lowered my standards and disregarded my morals. To this day, I am still perplexed by the phenomenon that is online dating versus real life interaction: online I was this super sexy and desirable babe everyone liked and loved - yet in real life no man ever approaches me to even ask me for my number. It makes no sense to be so alluring online, but in person the minute they see me they could care less for me. 

       I grow more and more sure that I wasn't meant for marriage or to be in a relationship. I know my personal attempts were all flawed by seeking in the wrong places. Yet, I can't get over the fact that I have been in college for almost ten years now; and I have yet to met a man that would be interested in me at all. I am a social person in the sense of going places and meeting new people, but none of those places or interactions have led to anything. It's not like I haven't been surrounded with educated people who have better standards than those online - but nothing has changed for me. No man whether smart or handsome wants me as a partner. 

         I have had so many disillusions at this point that I have little to no hope in ever having a partner in crime. So, all in all online dating is just a another avenue for getting laid without having to pay for it and not getting legally in trouble for it either. My best advice is to be real to yourself, and don't attempt to make a connection with someone you can't even see in person. Realize time is precious and you shouldn't be investing it on strangers who see you as an object. 


Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,



ANA :) 


    

Divorced Parenthood


         I knew the minute it took place, it wasn't gonna last. It may seem wrong in my part to automatically assume my parents marriage would fail, but I knew them. It happened in my birthday month & week I think, so this made it even worse to deal with because they said it was a birthday present - worst present ever. I was only 6 or 7 years old when my parents got married, and I didn't want them to get married because I knew my father didn't love my mother. 
    
          After about three years of failed marriage, my father filed for divorce while my mother was living in Colombia and he was residing in the states - they got married in Galveston, Texas. My mother was taken back and she was extremely mad that he didn't even consult her about it. She signed it right away and knew it was the right choice. I now look back, and realize my brother wasn't even part of the divorce papers because my father hadn't acknowledged him as his own son. 

           I never had the family experience- where their was no father figure, but a male provider. My mother has been more of a father-figure to me and anyone else. I basically lost the support of my father the moment I left Colombia at age 11. He stopped supporting me financially and also forgot I too needed a father in my life. He had the audacity to make me feel guilty for not dropping my whole life here in the states to return to Colombia to take care of him full-time. 

          As a child of divorced parents at age 9, I can say with absolute confidence that they made the right choice. I have seen so many parents that remain married to keep the family together. Yet, how can they say they're together when there is verbal abuse and so much distance between each other? I prefer parents be divorced and avoid the pain of seeing their failed marriage continue to cause damage to their kids. You can always be a mother or a father to your children without the need to remain in a failed marriage. 

          I pray I never have to experience this in my lifetime with my children. I don't want them to have to experience the separation of parents and I also hope my marriage remains healthy throughout the years till death do us part. Divorce is never easy; however, in most cases it is the right choice to make for the good of all. 


Till next time my beloved bloggers,


Xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo


ANA :)



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Thursday, July 5, 2018

Under the Knife


    Hola peeps !!! 

   I know you know there is only one way under the knife and that's through anesthesia. Correct!! ding ding 

   I have had over 60 surgeries in my lifetime and probably will acquire more as I do need a little skin relief. Plus, if I am fortunate to become a mother I might need a C-section too. I want to give  brief glimpse into my own personal experience. 

    I was usually admitted 8 days before surgery and had a hospital vacay back in the good old days when Shriners allowed for such things. I would have to bathe in the iodine red chemical that came in the form of a sponge and not allowed to consume food pass 12 a.m. 

      I was given some sleeping medicine even before the actual anesthesia to drowse me up I guess. Afterwards, once inside the OR (operating room) they put on all the cords and cables to monitor my vital signs. Then they administer the IV and finally put me under anesthesia by putting it in the IV and placing a mask over my mouth and nose. The nurse always said just count to ten and you'll be asleep. Please I barely made it to 3 and I was knocked out. 

    When I was waking up from anesthesia in the recovery room, I would be so damn thirsty and start to feel the open cuts they made in me in surgery. I would look around and try to see where the bandages were placed. Sometimes I would be like woah what just happened: for instance, one time I was operated on my knee and had a cast on all throughout my leg and I was freaking out a little bit. I was like damn it was just a small cut on the side why is my whole leg covered up. I later learned and understood it was to ensure I didn't attempt or try to bend or move my knee, so the cast made out of Velcro and wires kept it flat. 

    I was out of school for 3 months that time because I had had muscle dormant affect (not a medical true description but that's how I put it) which meant my knee muscle had been out of use for so long my knee literally would not bend so therefore I couldn't walk properly again. I had a lot of massages by my angel my mommy to get it to work again. Even when I returned to school I was given a key to the elevator because I couldn't walk up the stairs for like a week. 

    That same day of surgery, I would end up throwing up like crazy for a couple hours (it was my least favorite part of having a surgery). I complained and was given medicine before surgery to help with it but it only prolonged the wait but never eliminated it from happening. Anyways, I was given lots of morphine to control the pain after surgery and was also placed on antibiotics after every surgery to avoid infection from occurring. 

    I have really detailed unique stories on my list of surgeries, but I will leave those to my future #1 New York's Best Selling Book!!!! Yes, I am still working on my autobiography and it will be a hit. 

Love ya'll 


Xoxoxoxooxoxo, 


Ana :) 





Monday, July 2, 2018

Burn Care 101


   Bonjour mon amies!!!! 

   I am a burn survivor of over 25 years and I love being able to be an advocate for the voiceless. I understand what it means to be a trauma patient and to be hospitalized for weeks on end. I have been in the OR more times than I can remember and been through physical therapy, outpatient clinics, inpatient consultations, etc. Throughout the years I have acquired knowledge on burn care. 

      Many people take one glance my way and automatically give me the pitiful look. I hate it more than words could express. I understand my complexion is the absolute opposite from the norm. 
  • "In 2004, nearly 11 million people worldwide were burned severely enough to require
  •  medical attention" - from the website : http://www.who.int/en/news-room
  • /fact-sheets/detail/burns
6.4 billion people were alive in 2004, if we average of the percentage it is estimated to 0.17% of the population were actually burnt that year worldwide. It was less than a percent of the global population. Which comes to the conclusion that we (burn survivors) are rare to society; hence the discrimination and indifference towards us. 

     As a burn survivor, your life forever changes in every single aspect, and you have to live by certain precautions. 

  1.  Stay out of the sun 
  2.  Keep lubricated 24/7 
  3. Avoid overheating - because you no longer have the sweat glands available to cool your body down as usual
  4. Avoid staying in the pool for too long - chlorine causes damage & irritation 
  5. Avoid temperatures that are too hot or too cold - you no longer have the layers of skin to protect you from the heat or cold & the burns turn red and start to hurt 
  6. BE careful to not fall down or hit your burn skin because it is more susceptible to injury that can result in an open wound 
  7. The burnt skin becomes tight over time and may require incisions to release the skin 
    I have had several skin grafts in order to provide me with a better lifestyle and enable me to operate physically. I wish people would just let us be and understand our skin has nothing to do with having a disability. We are just as capable as anyone else to function normally and achieve success. Our brains were not damaged internally; therefore, we have the capability to learn and be successful in whatever we endeavor. 

    If you want to be helpful, just treat us like normal people even though we look completely different from the world. So, that's pretty much it in a bottle. Burn survivors are cool people and they know not to be judgmental- hence everyone else is judging us. 

     Till next time, 


Xoxoxoxoxoxo, 



Ana :)


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