Hey bloggers !!! Oh wait it's just me posting for an audience that is never really there yeahy. Anyways, the popularity of this blog is never gonna lead to profit and that is okay. Yes, I did say "gonna" instead of "going to" -- proper grammar is annoying sometimes-- so excuse me for not following the grammatical rules all the time. I prefer honest verbal free verse writing instead.
My writing will never be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious with exuberant verbiage and literary devices like using similes or metaphors. I write to share content that pertains to my life experiences or my own point of view. Writers should be true to their own identity, and portraying high level of scholarly writing without actually speaking that way in your dialogue in person is just a lie. Alright, let me get to today's main topic of blogging.
Women are all talkative by nature and that is just a fun fact of the female species. I won't deny I have cut off a few people in my dialogues as we are in conversation; my intention was never to be rude I just couldn't help getting my thought process out in the open before it faded. So, I have done some reflection on my past experiences and I have drawn one conclusion which I have incorporated as my new method. Before I say what it is and keep your curiosity for a few more seconds, let me also say that executing it is absolutely the most difficult thing I have had to learn to do.
Drum roll please ... the new method is no other than to SHUT UP -- that simple -- in all seriousness. I have always known the common phrase, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" ; however, it goes further than just keeping negative opinions to yourself. A lot of the times it is best to keep your feelings and opinions about something or someone to yourself without sharing it at all.
Let me elaborate on the specific scenarios I am referring to:
> When you are (for whatever reason) speaking to a person with obvious personal issues such as addictions, anger, hate, or low self-esteem etc.
> When you are at work, volunteering, in public at the grocery store
> Meeting new people through established peers
Each time you find yourself in these particular scenarios is when you should be alert of everything that you say before you say it. I know, I know it should be common sense, but as a woman who loves to talk nonstop it sometimes just slips out or I am so into the interaction I am not mindful of the scenarios. Therefore, I have had to really tell myself to just Shut Up over and over again in my mind to keep myself from creating more conflict or problems with people who can't handle the truth, are plain immature, or are in the wrong state of mind.
I am not saying I am perfect and I don't fit into one of those categories for someone else; I am merely stating that if we (including myself) are more mindful of what we say when certain people are around we can save ourselves a lot of headaches and drama in general. In the past, I have shared how I really felt about the situation or the person's lifestyle, and just as a mentioned they were not equipped to receive it. Instead of having an open mind and realizing there was truth in my statement, they just lashed out at me for "criticizing" them. They looked at me like I was just being judgmental, but the reality was I was only attempting to bring light into their distress.
For example, I was so frustrated with the double-load of work being expected out of me at a previous job that one day without being careful I shared my feelings about it. One other personnel then used that against me and told on me with upper management. I had to learn the hard way that no matter how injustice or frustrating the work situation becomes -- you are never to share how you really are feeling EVER. Of course there is a right way of approaching any abuse in the work environment, but it does not involve our personal feeling in regards to the situation.
On that note, my best advice which is also again a no brainer -- never ever become friends with coworkers -- it never ends well (TRUST ME). It becomes a distraction at work and the line always ends up being broken where it stops being a professional environment and there is just too much leniency between each other. All we have to do is be courteous to all our fellow coworkers, but never socialize with them outside of work. One must not be friends with everyone or anyone. I encourage everyone to respect one another despite our differences, but to abide by this level of respect does not imply we have to be friends.
"Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer" is just an awful cliché statement that people like to adhere by and it is absolutely wrong. No one should be pretending to be friends with someone you know dislikes you and has a strong desire to hurt you. A friendship is built on the honesty of liking that person's personality, and the enjoyment of interacting with them. So keeping your so called enemies closer is just bringing you and exposing you to so much more problems. If you know they are not good for you then just stay away and pray for them instead.
Back to the main point, it is best to avoid sharing too much and better not to say anything at all when people are pushing your buttons. I am so used to having a comeback response for every attack or ill comment, but it leads to nothing and just prolongs the agitator from being even more aggravating. You really do have to be the bigger person without saying that you are being the bigger person by being quiet.
Alright, there is not much more that I could add to this topic of discussion. I hope my own experiences with not keeping it to myself help you not make the same mistake. Become more reserved in your speech and know that people may say one thing in person but really have other intentions. Understand that certain people are not ready to hear what you have to say even if it is your own good intentions to help them.
Till next time, remember I do not have it all together, but I share with caution to encourage someone else in need of it. To uplift is always my main goal and to make you realize there is a lot heartache in this life, but always opportunity to do better and be better. God is patient and His unconditional love never runs out so don't give up.
- Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Love - Ana ")
