Dating???

     Swipe left, swipe right, how many likes do I have? How many requests do I have? All these questions are the typical ones popping up when you're an online dating site. I started online dating when I was 24 years old, but I started chatting with strangers online when I was 19. I admit the excitement of the popularity gets to you, but in the end it leaves you brokenhearted. 

       I was on Tagged, Match.com, Tinder, MeetMe, KIK, OKCupid, Badoo, POF, and maybe a few more which I can't recall at the moment. I regret it all from start to end. All the men I spoke to via messages was just a utter disappointment. They were all there seeking only free samples and desserts. I caved in with the 1st one promising me the boyfriend experience- it ended after a month. They always lured me in with compliments and fake promises about wanting to get serious with me and discussing marriage and such. I was so naive and stupid, looking back on it I wish I could have slapped myself in the face and said, " what in the hell are you thinking." 

        I sexted them all with dirty conversations that I am now ashamed of and realize it only provoked them more to treat me as a slut. I was so desperate to feel love by a man and to be loved that I lowered my standards and disregarded my morals. To this day, I am still perplexed by the phenomenon that is online dating versus real life interaction: online I was this super sexy and desirable babe everyone liked and loved - yet in real life no man ever approaches me to even ask me for my number. It makes no sense to be so alluring online, but in person the minute they see me they could care less for me. 

       I grow more and more sure that I wasn't meant for marriage or to be in a relationship. I know my personal attempts were all flawed by seeking in the wrong places. Yet, I can't get over the fact that I have been in college for almost ten years now; and I have yet to met a man that would be interested in me at all. I am a social person in the sense of going places and meeting new people, but none of those places or interactions have led to anything. It's not like I haven't been surrounded with educated people who have better standards than those online - but nothing has changed for me. No man whether smart or handsome wants me as a partner. 

         I have had so many disillusions at this point that I have little to no hope in ever having a partner in crime. So, all in all online dating is just a another avenue for getting laid without having to pay for it and not getting legally in trouble for it either. My best advice is to be real to yourself, and don't attempt to make a connection with someone you can't even see in person. Realize time is precious and you shouldn't be investing it on strangers who see you as an object. 


Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,



ANA :)