My Birthday Month!! #amilikey

 

    Hello fellow peeps!! I am very happy to see another year come to a close and a new beginning to a new chapter called 35!! This one will be very bittersweet, because there are so many pending goals yet to be reached and milestones that haven't even remotely began. Last year, at the end of the year I thought I met someone great and he turned out to be just another liar. He wasn't serious about anything and he really hurt me in the sense that I believed this could be different. I figured he is a professional and he approached me so clearly it will be different. Nope, none of the above happened at all. I thought maybe even a real friend and colleague networking opportunity. After that one meetup, it all fizzled out and I kept begging him to keep in touch and he always said, "I'm sorry for ignoring you I've just been busy." And the same thing happened all over again. I didn't hear from him unless I (the idiot) texted him first. So I finally deleted his number and from my social media. He hasn't bothered to reach out to ask what happened nor does he even care. I think he is probably relieved that he doesn't have to hear from me anymore. 

    So anyways, I only brought it up because as I turn 35 in less than a month, I will still be on this market of singleness and my motherhood years are basically about to expire. I don't want to be an old mom for the first time and it really bothers me to have to accept the reality of it all. If anyone would have asked me if this is how my life would pan out as a kid I would have never believed them. I had so much hope and confidence in my future that I would have that white picket fence and a beautiful family by age 30. They say you should never compare your life with others, but how could you not feel left out when literally everyone around you has a career and a family of their own. It sucks point blank and there's not much I can do to change that narrative. So yeah, I will be half happy about celebrating another year while utterly crushed knowing I don't have a husband to celebrate it with or the prospects of having one soon. 

    I also felt bad not posting a blog in such a long time so I thought I share something. It's not like I have a real following or support from anyone on here anyways. I am just basically talking to myself 99% of the time. I am journaling my life away and hoping one lost soul might just come across this blog and receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I met two new colleagues at work that are fairly nice and that's nice. I wish I could remove the ones that aren't so pleasant but then it wouldn't be called work. Major Lol. Certain people just have that "not again" feeling hovering over them, because all they do is complain and contribute nothing. They talk so much about what others don't do and in the meantime I am like, " and you are doing what ?" Nothing too, so look real hard in the mirror because you are the problem and not the solution. Anyways, I just want to pass my upcoming human biology test tomorrow with an "A" and call it a day. (Hey that rhymes, major Lol) 

    Finally, in comparison to last year's celebration, I am under a strict budget and I won't be able to do nearly as much fun activities to celebrate my 35th birthday; however, I will keep my mini traditions alive and make the best of it for sure. Thank you for all your support and as always my favorite phrase coming up: "You are not a mistake, because God is perfect and He cannot make mistakes." You have a purpose in life to fulfill, so no matter the hard times never give up and allow Jesus to show you the way to a genuinely happy life! Remember for more great content just use the hashtag #amilikey and explore more videos and pics on all your social media platforms!!

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo, 

Ana :)