One of my all time favorite activities to do is daydream. I know it's not exactly healthy because it heightens the expectations of what is real and what is not. I also resort to it as a coping mechanism to the current situations I may be dealing with in my life. I know that in due season what is meant for me and my life will come to pass but it is hard at times to wait for them to come.
I wanted to discuss it because right now I have one or actually two events coming up. As an amateur runner I do participate in a few races throughout the year. In each and every event, I always have this hope that maybe just maybe I might meet someone new that will bring something new into my life. Obviously the first thing I think about is will my future partner perhaps be there and will this be the means by which our love story begins. I know how naïve and hopeful that sounds for something that is not at all guaranteed or probable for me. In the past races, no one has ever even spoken a single word to me, so why would a good-looking man ever approach me and be interested in getting to know me. Clearly, these events are all against me in terms of the social group aspect of being one of the chosen females to approach. Super athletic and pretty girls are out there showing off their perfect bubble butts and long legs; meanwhile I am just showing my scars and little kids size shoes. Also, not to be so critical but the majority of the men out there are either gay and total stuck-up jocks that care more about their appearance than anything else surrounding them.
I am excited because one of the events is specifically geared towards Latinos and I've never participated in a specific genre race before so that will be new and different for me. I hope at the very least that considering that these are my people we will have more things in common to bond over and perhaps I might actually make a pen pal. Hopefully I will experience some of that warmth I've been missing out on since I am no longer in Colombia and in large Latino gatherings. But back to the daydreaming part, I do create a whole scenario of who I might meet at these events and how they will be so fond of me and keep in touch. I imagine them falling in love with me and becoming my best friends (which I have none and I have been friendless for quite some time). To be even more honest that is why I talk so much when I am at work because I have no one to talk to in real life other than my immediate family (and even that is not enough because there are certain things they can't relate to me on). When I thought I had real friends, they often criticized my knowledge and never appreciated me for me. It was nice having someone to talk to but in retrospect, they never fulfilled that need I had to relate to someone going through my same hardships and experiences. More than anything I hope I get to see nice people and have a healthy good run in each of the events.
My last little two cents is I need to post more blogs because I am so far away from my 50 posts goal for this year. I only have I think it was 14 blogs posted this year and we are way past the mid-year mark; which means I am definitely so far behind. I have gotten better in terms of not overdoing the daydreaming, but it is like that bad habit you try to break and it is very enticing and addictive. It requires very little effort and I can daydream anywhere- mainly when I am by myself or in a quite environment. It also helps pass the time and it really gets me emotional to where I smile and like enter a zoned out face as if I was watching an actual movie. I pray the people that are meant to be in my life will arrive sooner than later, and I won't have to resort to daydreaming about having a social life anymore but I will actually get to live it out.
Alright, thank you for tuning in one more time to this humble blog. As always, " You are not a mistake, because God is perfect and He does not make mistakes." Make sure you like, share, subscribe, and leave a comment - even if it's to criticize my writing - anything at this point would be nice to be acknowledged for once!!!
Love,
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Ana :)
No comments:
Post a Comment