Friday, May 31, 2024

Failure eventually has to come #Amilikey

 


Yo yo what’s up my people? Nothing much I guess since I get so many messages and comments — not!! Well, I hate to admit it but I am still an emotional person and I was deep in my feelings after certain things happened, so I had no motivation to blog. I was so sure I wouldn’t fail this CNA certification because it seemed so simple and basic, and I got overconfident. I paid for a freaking 3 day training and thought that was good enough to prepare for this exam. Absolutely, not enough to cover all the clinical skills required to pass, the instructor claims thousands of people have passed, but that does not give her the credibility she thinks she has because one of two things happened: they either got the easiest skills she actually went over or they were smarter than me and did their own research and better prepared to make sure they didn’t fail by missing instruction on certain skills. I sure did leave her a review, because it’s not fair you think you paid for something to be fully accessed and then end up like what we have to do these tasks never performed in my training( not to mention we barely practiced the ones mentioned in the training). Once again, every time you try to save money and pay for a cheaper version of something — you get what you paid for and that was half the information. 

      So, I invested all that time and money only to come up one skill short of passing my clinical exam and that was devastating for my ego and my overall goals I had already projected. I am not saying it’s not my fault for not better preparing myself, but it definitely hurt deeply to work hard on something and to ultimately fail. I have not given up the project altogether, I just have to readjust and try again. I can’t say for sure when I will transition into being a nurse tech at my current hospital, but it will be part of my near future because I love taking care of the patients and being hands on. Apart from that deviation and delay in acquiring new certification to my resume, I also confronted something in my health that I knew about briefly, but hadn’t been emphasized with great concern. 


     I attended my PCP just the other day to review my annual blood work and he mentioned that I had two options. I could fix my diet or he would start me on meds to reduce my A1C levels to prevent me from becoming diabetic. I was definitely not going to opt for medication and I told him I would be working on my diet for sure. The part of this interaction that displeased me and hurt me was when he deliberately stated, “You might want to incorporate some type of exercise too, unless you have some kind of physical disability.” I was offended and responded, “I do exercise and I also run,” and he with a smug face said “Well clearly not enough.” I was like wow what an ass and what type of doctor encourages a patient by mocking them and questioning whether they are telling the truth based on their looks. He totally assumed I was just a lazy slob who clearly doesn’t do anything to take of herself and she clearly must not be able to exercise all because her skin texture has burn scar tissue. 


   I definitely won’t be following up my appointment with him, but I will check up with another doctor in four months to see that I did comply with proper dieting and exercise. It’s sad to think these are the types of professionals we have nowadays and it explains why people are hesitant to visit their doctors if that’s how they’re going to be treated with such poor manners. I understand you have to be firm about the serious implications that becoming diabetic convey, but there is a proper way to emphasize the importance without being insulting and disrespectful. He could have said, “That’s great that you have running as your prefer method of exercise, and now you might want to just increase its frequency to help you out.” Also, not assume am disabled because I have burn scars on my body. I hate having to constantly defend and explain to people I am not stupid or disabled at all. I have made many stupid decisions and have overworked myself physically trying to compensate for poor eating or time crunch. Yet, none of that labels me as dumb or disabled. Not to brag, but in comparison to the average Jane — I have accomplished more than they ever will and I can out perform them without any problem. 


     So, my point in all of this is that no matter how hard we try to avoid failure— it is inevitable and it has to be part of our growth. I learned yet again, you can never over prepare yourself and you can never rely on anyone else to get you ready for whatever you have to face. It is up to you to do the work and make sure you exhausted all your options to be ready. As much as people say, I am here for you and you can count on me — make sure you do your part above all. Accept the loss not like a bitter and sorry loser, but with a greater focus on not failing again and making sure the next time you get that beautiful W. None of this matters in the grand scope of life, but while we are here on earth let us be productive people who strive to make a difference in life. For those who know eternity is coming, it won’t matter how many failures or success you acquire in this lifetime, because eternity is not earned but rewarded by God’s grace. Remember that “You are not a mistake, because God is perfect and He does not make mistakes!” This life is hard enough as it is, so allow the Lord Jesus to be a part of it so you can withstand the failures that come your way and embrace them with the opportunity to learn. My blog may never reach the vast popularity of audience I’d like it to have but if one person can get something out of it then that’s all that matters — and maybe that one person is just me!! Major Lol. You have to be your biggest cheerleader because again no one is rooting for you. Alright, I said more than enough, again if you wouldn’t mind sharing, liking, subscribing or commenting I’d appreciate it!!!! 



Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo, 



Ana 😜☺️ 


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