Good Afternoon my beloved bloggers!!! I just wanted to come on here and give you a recap of this year's ups and downs. I started this year in January with such high hopes of endeavoring into nursing by completing my prerequisites. I only lasted one semester and had to withdrawal from the summer term. I was so upset that I had yet again invested money that I didn't have to spend and time on something that did not come to pass. I really wish that I had done the right thing and prayed on it truly and waited for God to lead me to the right decision. Instead, all I did was be lead by my necessity to make more money and pursue a dream I thought I wanted for myself. It is always easier to critique the things that already happened after the fact. I could have invested that hard earned money on my wheels project and have been successful in that, but I just wanted to prove that I could use my waiting time more effectively and being able to tell people I was back in school felt nice.
In April, I started the desired PCT work that I also had been working on for over a year. I started off very excited about it and very nervous the first couple of shift that I did it solo. But afterwards the nervous feeling faded away quickly and turned into a dismal disillusion. The actual work of a patient care tech turned out to be more than I had bargained for in every aspect. Management demanded way too much for little compensation and no recognition of all the hard work I was delivering each and every shift. Being on my feet for over 12 hours was physically exhausting and the next day I woke up like I had been on a sport tournament or marathon because that's how tired I felt afterwards. I finally came to the conclusion that I was just wasting my time and energy where I am not necessarily needed and I am not making the extra money I was hoping for anyways.
After only a month and a half, I began the employment search for a better opportunity back in the clerical space I knew and exceled in. I searched and applied for several positions and finally in December the Lord answered my prayers and I was offered a new position with a totally different employer. I accepted right away and I am more than thrilled to be joining the office clinical space I thrive in yet again. It feels amazing to be reverting back to daylight hours and no full weekend work. To be able to lay my head down at night time every night is a true blessing, because sacrificing your sleep for work is not fun at all. No more being uncomfortable with people's sauna heating room temperature; no more having to beg people to let me do my work; no more inquisition about my personal life; no more working with people who do not want to work but bark orders, and it is just a wonderful journey back to a nice environment.
A lot of people criticize my decision by assuming I am not strong enough to endure the hardships the hospital environment entails, but that is so not true at all. I am leaving because I value myself and my work ethic; I deserve better and I am seeking better for myself. It doesn't mean I don't have the mental fortitude to do the work, because clearly I've been doing it for over 7 months now. Nobody had any idea of how much stress it caused me at work because I know how to perform under stress and keep my inner feelings to myself. The very colleagues that accuse me of not being fit for the job because I am leaving it behind, had no clue of how dissatisfied I was because I still did a great job and treated patients with kindness. I always had it clear in my mind, that the patients were not the ones to blame for the broken system and I always did my best to service them with love.
All in all, it was a very difficult year for me personally in my workforce sector; however, I know from this experience I gained much valuable lesson on how to proceed with caution. I learned that just because something is good and noble doesn't mean it is meant for your doing. From this experience that was so painful both physically and emotionally, I gained a deeper understanding of what it means to be in healthcare especially in a one to one hands on setting. The people I met I take along with me the good things I learned from them and I know even though it wasn't the outcome I would have liked, it still serves a purpose for my overall purpose in life.
So with all of that let me get back to my main goal of spreading encouragement and reminding myself and others you are not a mistake because God that created you is perfect and He cannot make mistakes. You are here for a plan and a purpose so allow Jesus into your life and discover that plan for your life to be fulfilled. Thank you and remember leaving a small comment or feedback is always welcomed!!
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Ana :)
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